Thankful for the gift of life

 Today, on my birthday, I am thinking about life. Life with all its joy and heartache. And over and over, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness. 
 So, here is a shout-out to some of those who have helped shape me, loved me, and shown me the grace of God.
 First, my parents. I am so thankful to you both, mom and dad! Yesterday one of my older children told me I needed to have another baby. I proceeded to explain that I am still trying to lose baby weight, and still feeling tired most of the time, and hence, that was not in the plans right now. Jared just looked at me a bit confused and said, "So? That just means you've had lots of children and that you work hard." His logic didn't change my mind on my weight goals, but it did give me some things to ponder. Sacrifice. The constant giving up of self to love and serve those in our care. I am so thankful for the countless sacrifices you have made on my behalf! Mom, thank you especially for the physical sacrifice of carrying me, of bearing pain to give me life. Dad, I treasure the memory of kneeling with you, of you leading me in prayer to the heart of the Father. Thank you for leading me to eternal life. 
  Friends. I have been blessed with wonderful friends. Friends who have walked along beside me, and held me up when I was weak. Friends willing to challenge me, to speak truth to me, friends who have loved me even when I haven't been lovable. I have lost friendships and mourn them. Been wounded by friends. Hidden myself from friends, not willing to risk getting hurt again. I have been led back to trust and risk with friends. Been taught that the most important thing in life is this gift of relationship. I am thankful especially for my sisters who have been faithful friends to me. And for my very best friend:
 My husband. The man who sees me, all my flaws, all my quirks, all my brokenness, and loves me any way. The one who looks beyond those things to the work of God in my heart. The one who chose me to share life with him. I can't even begin to express how precious you are to me, Chad. Marrying you is the best decision I ever made. God has used marriage to cleanse, to purify and mature both of our hearts. That process has been difficult and at times extremely painful, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. You are the one my heart adores!  
Jesus. My Lord. The Relentless Pursuer of my heart. I am so thankful for His love and gentleness that melt the walls and defenses I have built around my heart, freeing me to love and be loved, to experience forgiveness and to enter relationship with Him and others. God has truly blessed me. Woven all throughout my life are glimpses of Him. His protection. His incredible love to me. Even the heartaches bear His image; in them too, He was holding me, drawing me, leading me to Himself. 

Overwhelmed by Mercy

Jesus, I feel so overwhelmed by your mercy.

So amazed that You would invite me into relationship simply for the joy of being my friend.

That each day You meet me, offering vulnerability, asking me only to trust .

I find it so hard to leave behind my striving and to simply accept Your love.

And yet, in grace You keep inviting me, drawing me.

Asking me to let go of me and  to allow You to meet my needs.

Thank You Jesus for mercy and grace.

Thank You for pursuing me, for wanting me. 

Thank You for a love that melts my defenses.

For my Sunday School Class

 "How I  praise God, the Father of my Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed me with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because I belong to Christ. Long ago, even before He made the world, God loved me and chose me in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. His unchanging plan has always been to adopt me into his own family by bringing me to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure. So I praise God for the wonderful kindness he has poured out on me 
because I belong to his dearly loved Son. He is so rich in kindness that He purchased my freedom through the blood of his Son, and my sins are forgiven. He has showered his kindness on me, along with all wisdom and understanding."-Ephesians 1:3-8 (NLT)

"... I have the free gift of being accepted by God, even though I am guilty of many sins..." -Romans 5:16 (NLT)

Sugar and Spice

Alaia decided she wanted cake.

Mommy decided to let her try her hand at mixing one.

 Dumping

Mixing

This takes a lot of concentration.

Looking good

Wonder what it feels like?

 Tastes good too.

Yes, I like this!

 She ran upstairs to tell daddy she was making him 

 cake as soon as she was done mixing.

 We had one very proud little girl, one very happy daddy and five siblings who eagerly helped eat every crumb!

Catching up

  
 Chad surprised me with a birthday party last night. And I have to admit I was truly surprised. The kids must be growing up because they didn't drop a single hint. Grandma Dorothy had volunteered to keep the children overnight so Chad and I planned a date. In the rush to get the kids out the door they forgot one of their bags and needed us to bring it to them. Chad and I had a wonderful meal at Cafe Lalibela and then went to drop off the bag. I was shocked to find a party waiting for me. And even more shocked to open my gifts and find this darling little notebook that I am now happily typing away on. I never thought I'd be so excited about an electronic device. It's going to be quite difficult to keep to my rule of no computer until school is done!

 Really looking forward to Thanksgiving next week! And then Christmas! I've already begun my Christmas season planning and today hit a couple of stores for garlands and craft supplies. I can't wait to decorate and get Christmas in the air with lots of baking.  


 But that's not to overlook the fact that we are in the middle of a mini remodel. We had great excitement a couple months ago when we walked in our front door and discovered our floors covered in several inches of water. Did I say excitement? I think it was more like despair. Whatever it was, after working frantically for over an hour to remove the water, all we could do was look at each other and laugh. Oh, I forgot to mention that this was during our first week of school. Yeah, excitement is never ending around here. Anyway. We had to tear out most of our flooring and are now in the process of picking out and installing new flooring. And, dear husband that he is, Chad is also painting my cabinets for me before we do the actual install.

 Now, some of you may know that my cabinets are actually pretty new. And some of you may be tempted to judge me for the statement above. Don't. Just love me. And hope I don't live to regret this decision. I love white cabinets. I practically drool when I see white kitchens. I thought I would like hickory too, but it just isn't white. I was all set to live with my choice though, until my sweet and patient husband talked me out of it. Alright. I admit it didn't take much. And yes, I do know how incredibly blessed I am. 

 So, that said, our holiday season is going to be packed full. But that's what makes life so much fun!

 We were in Ohio for about 2 weeks the beginning of this month. Spending time with family and attending a John Reiger conference. Really enjoyed both although I was miserably sick most of the time. Big thanks to Keith and Emmy, Matt and Carmen, Aunt Jean and Aunt Betty, Gary and Teresa for sharing your homes and food with us. We love you guys!!   
 

Marriage Retreat

We spent last weekend in Prescott with a group of amazing people. We enjoyed cool weather, starry night skies, late nights and laughter, and most importantly the sharing of our hearts with God and each other.

 Thanks to all of you for the great time!

Nakedness and the Holiness of God

                           http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/nakedness-holiness-god
                       There is a glitch in this recording and it repeats itself so begin at 26:22.

      This is for our Sunday School Class. Just in case you wanted to reference it before next week.

...As I have forgiven you

  My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:12-13

 When I hold onto the hurt caused me by my brother, when I take offense and count his sin as against me, when I care more about my feelings than my brother's heart,  I inevitably find I have taken my eyes off of Jesus and placed them on self. The love of God calls me to lay my life down. Not as a martyr for my brother, but in response to the sacrifice of Christ for me.

 Does this mean I ignore my own heart? Not at all. In fact it is vital to search our hearts. We cannot forgive another without first acknowledging we have been hurt. But we take that pain to the cross understanding that another's sin is between them and the Father just as my heart's response to it is between me and the Father. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God. 1Cor.4:5

 What is the motive of my heart? I am so quick to judge another and to think his actions so woefully against myself. How often do I miss the fact that my reaction to someone may be because of sin or wrong thinking in my own heart? Or if there is wrong doing, do I care about the sin in my brother's heart simply because it has wounded me or, because it stands between him and the Father. I find that when I don't believe or understand the nature of God's love for me or my brother I am much quicker to take offense. When my eyes are on the cross and on His gift of love for me I do not count the cost of forgiveness and restoration. It is simply a response to my Saviour's love.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved,

 clothe yourselves 

with 

compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 

Bear with each other 

and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. 

Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Colossians 3:12-14

  

School in Session

 We are into our third week of school. I have loved getting back into the routine! In our first week I told Chad at least twice a day how much I love homeschooling. I just felt so satisfied. That may seem like an odd word to describe it, but I think it really describes my heart. Just so sure this is how I want to be spending my time.


 Of course, it isn't without moments of complete chaos. Several reading times with Laia and Justin yelling in the background or madly hurdling themselves at us as they try to escape each other in a game of tag.  This generally results in loud wails of protests from the big kids as mommy waves the book around trying to prevent it from taking out an eye. Nothing better than  little ones running around to keep the big ones from getting glassy eyed with boredom.


 I read The Way They Learn by Cynthia Tobias before the start of this year's school and loved it. My intention was to discern the learning needs of each child but I was surprised at how much I discovered about myself and even my husband. Definitely a worthwhile read!


 We started our year with Sonlight's PK 4/5 and are completely loving it! Even the older children are really into it. It has allowed us to gently ease into the routine of school and get well established in our workbooks. We will be ready to start core K September 27 and then Core 4 on November 29. I just felt completely overwhelmed thinking about doing more than one core at a time and knew they would all want to be a part of the reading times anyway. So far this plan is working great for us.


 Teaching Textbooks and All about Spelling have exceeded my expectations! Two subjects my children were never overly eager for, they now really enjoy! I hesitated to buy them because of the price but I am very glad I went ahead. I am also delighted with Writer's Jungle. I still have quite a bit to read in that one though. 

 We had our first field trip yesterday, spending our morning at the zoo observing animals and plants and sketching whatever was of interest to us. The children loved it and are already talking about our next trip there. 

 I feel so awed and thankful about the privilege of teaching my children. I love watching as they grasp new concepts and grow in their thirst of knowledge. On the other hand, there are definitely times of feeling overwhelmed by the huge responsibility. Times when we are all tired and grumpy and discouraged and not at all sure why we are doing this. But those are the moments that strengthen my resolve, because more than anything I want to train their hearts. And it is in those moments of real life that we learn of real relationships and the meaning of true love. 

Fullfillment

 "When once God's mighty grace gets my heart wholly absorbed in Him,  every other love of my life is safe; but if my love to God is not dominant, my love may prove to be lust. Nearly all the cruelty in the world springs from misunderstanding this. Lust simply means I seek for a creature to give me what God alone can give, and I become cruel and vindictive and jealous and spiteful to the one from whom I demand what God alone can give.

 Unless our human relationships are based in God they will end in frantic disillusionment. When we are rightly related to Jesus Christ, human love is transformed because the last aching abyss of the heart is satisfied; but if the relationship with God is cut out our relationship to others is embittered. When once the relationship with God is right the satisfaction of human love is marvelous." 

- Oswald Chambers

 http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sites/sermons2.redeemer.com/files/sermons/RPC-The_Struggle_for_Love.mp3

Love this sermon!

Loving Each Other

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

John 16:12

 I use to pray for more love for people. For an end to my impatience with people and their faults. For strength to turn the other cheek and forgive when someone wounded me. What I missed is the wondrous simplicity of what Christ is saying in this verse. My love for others flows out of my understanding of God's love for me. When I take my eyes off of myself and cease my striving to be what I think I should be, when I accept the reality of who I am, a very flawed person, very much in need of the God of the universe dying for me, I begin to understand the love of my Saviour. 

 And then, as I learn the truth and the magnitude of His love for me, I am set free to love others. To know that this same God gave His life for them. That He held nothing back in giving Himself  and that I in turn cannot hold anything back in loving others.

 It becomes about Him. And not at all about me.

"You are more flawed and sinful than you ever dared to believe 

and yet more loved 

and accepted

than you ever hoped to imagine."

-Tim Keller

"He drew a circle that shut me out- 

Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout. 

But love and I had the wit to win: 

We drew a circle and took him In ! 

From the poem " Outwitted" 

— Edwin Markham

We love because the He first loved us. 

Out of the the abundance of His love for me

I choose to love and to forgive.

  We are really excited to be starting our new school year August 30th. It's been such fun getting packages in the mail every few days as our books have begun trickling  in. We are still  

waiting on our big boxes from Sonlight. I've learned not to order those too early. My kids simply can't resist digging into them as soon as they get here. 

My Eager Students

Well, except for these two. I think they are just looking forward to all the mischief they

can get into while mommy is "otherwise occupied".

And so begins my day

The Clue

The Crime

The Suspect

We got a lot of fingerprints

I don't think she can argue the evidence

Oh, and toe prints too.

The only problem is the face looks so innocent.